growing up
i've decided to grow up.
at least i've decided to think about growing up.
thats just as big of step, right?
i've also decided to try and make the best of each situation instead of the situation getting the best of me.
i want to be a more kind, gentle and warm person. i think thats who Christ would want me to be. i'll be rowdy when i need to be, be firm when i need to be, but i want to be remember as a caring, flexible, kind person. someone who exhibited the fruits of the spirit. i think that would be good.
i, however, do not want to be nice. nice is fake. being nice is what you do when you see someone that you don't give a shit about, but you smile, say "hi" and stop and make small talk; knowing that you won't remember a thing about this conversation in 5 minutes, and you really don't care whats being said. nice is surface level, and i do not want to be surface level. i'd rather be a sincere jackass than a superficial nice-guy. kindness comes from the heart. it is real, authentic, and takes effort. kindness is intentionally listening. being kind is to be warm.
my mom said to me, "your brother has a warm personality. you kind of have an edge to you."
yeah, i do. it comes as a result of my personality mixing in some crappy environments. but thats letting the situation get the best of me, not me getting the best of the situation. i think that i would rather be the one who smooths the edges off, instead of God forcing it to happen. i think that sort of change pleases God, and causes Him to look down and smile. i would like to strive for that. making God smile. could that be considered worship?
so please be patient with me.
i am working on me.
to be a better me.
and i'm sure i'll be an ass sometimes;
cos i have not arrived yet.
but i see what i could be,
what i want to be,
and i think i should start striving for it.
small steps though,
sometimes real small.
but i am moving.
be good to each other. look at Christ. peace.
at least i've decided to think about growing up.
thats just as big of step, right?
i've also decided to try and make the best of each situation instead of the situation getting the best of me.
i want to be a more kind, gentle and warm person. i think thats who Christ would want me to be. i'll be rowdy when i need to be, be firm when i need to be, but i want to be remember as a caring, flexible, kind person. someone who exhibited the fruits of the spirit. i think that would be good.
i, however, do not want to be nice. nice is fake. being nice is what you do when you see someone that you don't give a shit about, but you smile, say "hi" and stop and make small talk; knowing that you won't remember a thing about this conversation in 5 minutes, and you really don't care whats being said. nice is surface level, and i do not want to be surface level. i'd rather be a sincere jackass than a superficial nice-guy. kindness comes from the heart. it is real, authentic, and takes effort. kindness is intentionally listening. being kind is to be warm.
my mom said to me, "your brother has a warm personality. you kind of have an edge to you."
yeah, i do. it comes as a result of my personality mixing in some crappy environments. but thats letting the situation get the best of me, not me getting the best of the situation. i think that i would rather be the one who smooths the edges off, instead of God forcing it to happen. i think that sort of change pleases God, and causes Him to look down and smile. i would like to strive for that. making God smile. could that be considered worship?
so please be patient with me.
i am working on me.
to be a better me.
and i'm sure i'll be an ass sometimes;
cos i have not arrived yet.
but i see what i could be,
what i want to be,
and i think i should start striving for it.
small steps though,
sometimes real small.
but i am moving.
be good to each other. look at Christ. peace.
posted by marcelliott at 5:51 PM
4 Comments:
i see what your smellin.
be careful not to change who you are, just how nice you can be. ;) because who you are is beautiful
my goal is not to change who i am.
but to take who i am, and then do it times ten, because thats how i do.
and i'll be careful not to change who i am. . . i'll change how i choose to be.
woah im really glad i looked at that! its nice to know that someone elses brain is constantly ticking mine!! it puts my lif einto perspective as well!! i never erally consciously though about the whole being kind thing...but now that you mention it it is a pretty good point kinna told me that you wrote that part last night!! thats amazing!!
jo
some people describe me as crunchy, i call it jersey...your mom told you have an edge...sounds like the same problem.
i'd like to be warm, but it sounds hard...with Christ all things are possible and if our aim is to be more Christlike then it shouldn't be as hard...
sometimes i just get so stuck in myself and my own way of being--awesome book challenging me on these thoughts: Practicing the Presence of People by Mike Martin.
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