its so hard

its so hard.
to make myself less.
i don't want to say it.
i have a right to be angry.
i AM right to be angry.
aren't i?
no.
and i know it.
so why can't i?
i'm not looking for answers.
encouragement perhaps.
i know the answers to my questions, i just don't like them.
encouragement to face my answers.
its too difficult.
too painful.
i'm hurt, i want to stay hurt, stay angry, stay bitter.
i want the control. . .
but control of what?
i have no control.
i don't need answers.
encouragement perhaps.
because this is hard.
so hard.
but i'm tired.
tired of living like this.
living being controlled by my emotions.
no more.
but its so hard.
so hard.