easter is coming . . .

so easter is coming.
the tomb is empty.
we're supposed to be living out this resurrection life, right?
why do i feel like so many days i'm not?
why do i feel that i am supremely unqualified to teach easter morning?

there are more days that feel like saturday night before the resurrection. i can identify with the disciples so much who went and hid. who remained in hiding, and had such a hard time believing mary when she showed up telling them all that Jesus was alive.

i identify so much with thomas. i wonder why he was there? did he feel like their plan had failed and didn't want to be those whom he had given his life to for the past 3 years? did he not want to look into the eyes of the other disciples and see the same sense of dread? that the kingdom that he was so sure he bringing about was squashed like the other rebellions?

was his doubt more about his fear of getting his hopes up only to have them completely dashed again? who doesn't know what that's like. . .

easter matters so much more to me this year.
i think i said that before.

may we rest in the fact that the saturday night has passed. and that the tomb is still empty. that means, that i can hope again and again. it means i don't have to be a bitter, cynical manipulative man. because what i'm afraid of, well, it doesn't matter. because death doesn't win. life wins.

is it possible to be a christian, to have said the prayers, to go to church, to tithe, but yet know the true power of the resurrection? is it possible to not know what real love looks, feels, IS like?

do we live in the death of Christ and remember His resurrection instead of remembering His death and living in this new resurrection life?

do we even want to come near these questions?

be good to each other. look at Christ. peace.