today and tomorrow

i hold in tension dreams and hope for tomorrow while living out who i am today. this is becoming very difficult because i tend to be a big dreamer. i want to figure out how things are going to work out; dream how things could be. sometimes, it's a nice distraction if a day sucks. other times it becomes a problem because those dreams almost become expectations.

i don't want to not be a dreamer. i don't want to not think big. but what i don't want most of all, is that in the process of looking towards the future so much, i forget about today. it can be so damaging.

now this is not my attempt at justifying reckless living and irresponsible rebellion. this is my attempt at not taking today for granted. because when we get caught up in dreaming about tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. . . . today gets lost. not that its bad to dream about those things, but thats what they are . . . dreams. today is reality. when tomorrow gets here, that will be reality. live it up, be the most you can be, be Christ to those around you, love others about yourself. . .

because thats what those big dreams can suck us into sometimes . . . thinking about what we want. what do I want to do.

living in the reality that today is all i have, that today is my chance to love in an extravagent way, it is my one chance to show that others matter more to me than me. . . i can't blow this anymore.

i don't want to live like this anymore.

i'll still dream. i'll still hope. but more importantly, i'm going to work on love today. work on putting others before me today. i won't always get it, i'll probably screw up a bunch. . . but i'm not stopping. . . and i'm praying that Christ transforms my heart gives me new eyes to see, and new ears to hear.

be good to each other. look at Christ. peace.