leaving

i'm leaving in two weeks. exactly two weeks. to beautiful socal.
i feel so unprepared, so unready, so . . . scared.
i can't even wrap my brain around what it looks to live so far away from here.
i have such mixture of emotions right now.
sad, excited, anxious, nervous, frustrated even.
i can't wait to start working in an environment where i get to do what i love to do.
but its so hard leaving the one i love.
how will i fit in? will my ideas be automatically challenged because i'm the "new guy?"
why can't she just move out there with me? (i know the answer, but it doesn't make it easy)
i just want to curl up and cry, then run around shouting because i get to get out of indiana . . .
i don't know what to feel. . .
and that may be the most frustrating part of it all.