blah blah blah

so i'm sitting at work right now.
its 3:50 pm on friday.
i'm listening to my boo by usher and alicia keys.
and i am extremely bored.
and tired.
and frustrated.

i'm caught up in a thought about the difference between wishing and desire, and the fundamental difference between the two. wishing doesn't lead to anything except a good daydream. however, a desire fuels action. it can be any sort of desire. anger, love, hate, jealousy, to change the world, to win someone over. whatever the desire is we act on it.

i think i'm wishing too much and consequently letting those wishes stay where they are. i think i'm one of those people in Bruce Almighty who just asks for things, expecting a return immediately.

sometimes God doesn't respond immediately to our prayers so that we'll stay and talk some more.

i'm just praying - aka wishing - that things will happen, instead of doing something about it myself. its a tough spot to be at. in fact, i really don't like it. because it calls my selfish nature out into the open, and i reallyreallyreally don't like that.

so now my question - prayer - is how do i turn that corner? how do i go from wishing to desiring and therefore acting on that desire. actually bring about a change in something. i confess, i'm a great at talking. i'm great at writing.

but its all utter bullshit. unless i move from wishing to desiring. and from there to action.

God - help me desire instead of wish. please.

be good to each other. look at Christ. cheers