death

a week ago tonite at this very time, my grandmother, Kathryn Higgins Murnane died. my dad's mom. my grandpa found her in bed. she had gone to be with the Lord in her sleep on july 15, 2005. she was 75.

needless to say, this has been an interesting week. death doesn't allow for anything to be normal, even though it is the one thing we are all assured of.

its hard, because i want her to be there when i go over to see my grandpa. i want to talk baseball with her. i want to tell her i love her. and i know i will be able to one day. but because i held things against her, many of which weren't actual but simply thought, or even feared, i didn't.

seeing her lying in the casket, looking very peaceful brought so much closure. it was even too much at times.

death brings to mind those issues that you don't want to deal with. insecurities, rejection, fear, etc. we have two very clear choices - 1. deal with it. 2. run away.

i choose door #1. because i don't want to have to go through this again.

if you love someone, let them know. you may not be able to say it, and it may not be wise to say it, but that doesn't mean you can't show it.
if you're scared of something, face it head on.
if you have dreams, follow them. we hear that so many times and pass it off as bullshit, but its not. it is so not bullshit.
in all things, follow your heart.
love Jesus. love others.
cherish those around you.
be yourself. . . . don't let anyone else determine what yourself is.

and most of all, i truly believe that the most important questions do not revolve around whether or not we'll go to heaven.

the most important questions revolve around whether or not we are doing our part to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth. they revolve around doing kingdom work. see the following post.

be good to each other. look at Christ. peace.