i'm learning alot. alot about who i am, who i want to be, who i'm called to be, what does being a christian really mean, what does community look like. . . a ton of stuff really.
i think we are more willing to learn when we find that the current way of living isn't fulfilling. we either rebel against the notion that we have to change, or take on the challenge to change head-on. because this type of change is never easy or comfortable but is the process of Christ redeeming us. saving us.
we are not just saved from something, we are also saved
to something. we are saved to a new way of being. that process of coming to that new way is really uncomfortable. i mean, it sucks. its painful, not only for us, but for those around us.
this is what i'm learning. i have to come to terms with who i am. i can be unloving at times. selfish at times. rude at times. i'm not proud of it. but i have to own it if i'm going to work on it.
and owning it means that being a Christian is not an exercise in public relations. it means letting others see our ugliness. but we can't do that unless we're deep community with others. and that takes time. and its not a set amount of time either.
all of these issues are in direct oppostion to everything in our culture. we want what's fast, what looks good and what doesn't hurt. if any of these three come up, i want to run. i don't want to deal with the ugliness in my heart. none of us want to.
here's the best part though. God still calls us sons and daughters. He still calls us GOOD! He still chooses us! its not in spite of our sinful nature. i would almost argue it is because of our sin. our ugliness. because He doesn't want us to have it. He has a better way for us. He wants us to let His light penetrate us to the darkest parts of our soul, so that we can become whole!
the journey of a Christian is not sin management. it is the process of God to redeeming and saving every part of us to Him. and it is a process. and its life.
and if we all committed to doing it together. . . my friends, thats community.
be good to each other. look at Christ. peace.
