no clue

i want to move to LA. help out at a church there. lead worship, do marketing and promotions . . . be hired as a person, instead for a position. basically, do the damn thing.

the problem is, (well there are no problems, just opportunities) as of right now, there are the funds for me to come on full time. and no, its not possible to live in SoCal on a part-time salary. its almost possible in indiana, but not really. truthfully, i would love to be able to work for a church but they wouldn't have to pay me anything. i don't want that money. how would that work, you ask? i don't know. but it would be sweet. it just can't happen now. no hard feelings about it in any way though.

i got offered a job to do sales for a direct mail company that focuses on car dealerships. its a great opportunity. its a 100% commission though. but the really cool thing is that i could take the job out to SoCal and do my job from there. Which is a very unique opportunity.

i don't know why i won't take it. honestly.

and a few minutes ago, literally, i got offered a sales position for the company i am at now. which is a pretty cool thing. i mean, i get to keep the benefits i have now AND i get other things like a car allowance and cell phone allowance. thats pretty darn cool.

so thats two job offers within a week. i have no clue. please pray for me. i don't know.
i'm praying that God will reveal Himself, show me a direction, a path to take.

in many ways, i just wish that the church could pay, so i wouldn't have to worry about all of this. i love competition. i really don't like business. i don't like the me-first attitude that you almost HAVE TO take. it plays to the part of me that i don't like.

it plays to my dark side.

i'm sorry, i had to say that. i can't wait for the new movie. its gonna kick some serious ass.

anyways, i have no clue what i'm doing.

in related news, you should check out LarkNews. just hilarious stuff.
also, a good friend of mine has a blog that rocks. you should check it out here.

be good to each other. look at Christ. peace

what am i doing with my life? part II

so i'm thinking about a job change.

its a big thing.

its tough because i appreciate and am grateful to my current employer for the opportunity that they gave. its my first REAL job.

at the same time, things have grown very stagnant. what i was told about my position in the company has not materialized. i am told that it will in 2-3 weeks now. but thats what its always been. in 2-3 weeks, i'll be doing sales, tele-sales, print management. . . .blah blah blah.

its frustrating.

so a guy at my church has approached me about working for them. guaranteed salary immediately. benefits. good hours. they just need someone who is able to follow a process. i can do that! i struggle with making a process. . . . but i can sure as hell follow one.

its pretty good money too. i'm going to check out the business friday afternoon. please pray. this is a tough decision.

i don't like the business world because its all about "do whats best for me" mentality. thats what a co-worker told me the other day at lunch. he said, "i have to whats best for me. because i'm the only one looking out for me." thats what people have told me i need to do. and something within me just wants to reject that way of thinking.

i'm going to lexington, ky tomorrow night. see an old friend. i'm looking forward to it. he was my big brother growing up in chicago. right now, i need a big brother.

i want to be loyal to my current employer. but at the same lunch, i was told that loyalty often benefits the entity that you are loyal to more than it benefits you. i don't like that. this is just confusing.

i'm thinking of moving to LA in the fall. just to get out of here. it would be great. maybe even start taking a few classes at Fuller. get a head start. my love is travelling to ecuador for 10 months. i gotta do something while she's gone.

anyways, we'll talk again soon. drop me a note to let me know that ya'll are alive. especially those who said they would comment . . . . ya'll are punks.

ha!

be good to each other. look at Christ. peace

gas prices, schiavo, creation . . . . . coming home

gas prices. . . just a big topic of conversation.

whose fault is it? the saudi's? china's - because they are so big? russia? seriously, we cannot blame everything on them. wait. i forgot . . somehow its the left's fault. yeah. how could i have missed it. its their fault that our economy has sunk. its their fault that we can't drill in alaska. its their fault for being so . . . .so. . . . .left.

whatever. i'm just glad i have a motorcycle. i also bought that 2001 jetta, and have to put premium gas in it. "OH MY GOSH!! seriously, marc. thats a lot of money you're throwing away." nope. i paid $2.35 per gallon today. in 1980, gas was $2.59 (adjusted for inflation - courtesy of msn.com). so maybe this good for us. it'll cause us to be more conscious of how we spend our money. and i so wanted those Kenneth Cole Reaction shoes for 100 bucks. . . . . .dagumit!

schiavo. its sad. what an ass of a ex-husband. if she can breathe on her own, they should have kept the feeding tube it. i don't know his motives, financial or whatever. . . its just sad. whats worse is how the GOP made such a spectacle of it. there are so many reasons to go into it. exploiting death for political gain. . . . just doesn't seem right.

Bush says that he's trying to cultivate a culture of life. ( JP II said it first) then whats the deal with death row? all the people he put to death in texas? we are assuming that they will never turn to God, so we play God. pro-life shouldn't just be abortion, but anti-death, anti-capital punishment, anti-feeding tube removal. (thanks nathan, for leading us to that discussion)

creation. i don't even know how to get into this. i should try not to be so negative. but its hard sometimes. especially with this. we suck at protecting, preserving, caring for God's creation. for the sake of the industrial revolution, we are pushing the earth to its limits. it is kinda like "the puppy who lost his way." ( if you don't get it, go watch an adam sandler movie)

we have used so many of the natural resources. as we cut down so many trees for wood, we take away the very plants that give us life, that create our oxygen. the conservative agenda actually doesn't conserve anything to well. all it does is spend well.

"if I would be silent I'd be living a lie.
it says the rocks will cry out.
for my God is alive."

sorry. i had to pull that out. i mean, we're talking about inanimate objects here. and they praise God, just by being. that line is that song, "ALL creation worships YOU." not just humans, but everything. yet we just let it be destroyed. littering is a spiritual issue. i ask for forgiveness for all of the times i've littered. not recycle when we can is a spiritual issue. i'm sorry if it doesn't save you money. i'm just as guilty.

this doesn't mean that we have to do huge ecological festivals or whatever. just pick up your trash. don't let some plastic or styrofoam blow away after a pic-a-nic.

thanks to all of you have already contributed to this post. its much appreciated.

"da mind dat stretch big can't shrink back."

coming home.i have been down in Gulf Shores, Balabama for a week or so. and in Chicago. if you're ever in that area, go see Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind. its 30 plays in 60 minutes. it plays at the neo-futurists theatre at Foster & Ashland. www.neofuturists.org
seriously. go see it. its hilarious, charming, and thought provoking. i even got to be part of the production . . . . . you know how tough that is for me. being in front of people and all.

but i'm home now. work always sucks after a vacation. but its good. its nice coming home to my bed, my friends, my family.

be kind to each other. . . look at Christ. . . . peace.